圣诞节快乐 ；）

这么快的又过了一天
再过五天就进入了新的一年
我还蛮害怕的 不想面对2011年
因为自己又要老一岁了
哈哈哈
大家都急着跟我说
“再过两年就可以嫁人了”
心里想没这么快啦
我连书都还没读完
怎样做人家的老婆啊
真是笑死人！
每天我就是过这样的日子
没什么特别的
尤其在这圣诞节日
我还以为我会过得开开心心
没想到还是一样 不特别
加上我男友还要在26号那一天做工
真的气死我啊
搞到我们两个乱七八糟
还吵了起来
差点点就要踏进了“冷战”区
还好现在两个人都没事了
大家已经好好的谈 好好的道歉
接下来的日子
我也不知道要怎样过了
毕竟我的家乡只是一个小小的地区
就算有什么日子
也不会开到很夸张
这里外地人就多的是
店子又很少
就算要出去跑街也未必会拿到什么收获
乖乖呆在家是最好了
不过这几天都很冷 还下了大雨
感觉像在外国的冷天下雪
也算可以感受到圣诞的气氛
有一点开心 可可可
可惜的就是没有机会跟我的亲戚朋友一起过这个节日
希望明年可以一起集合
大家过开心的圣诞
好了
我也没什么想写了
就到这里吧
最后就祝福大家






圣诞节快乐 ；D

mom, daughter dinner ;D

last night i went dinner with mom
join together with Ling aunty & her daughter
also Ting aunty with her whole family ;)
too bad the place is Honey Sweet
actually drinks was okay but food quiet speechless
really pissed me off >< hard to find a delicious food at here
but still eat bao bao laa
no choice, food already odered!
having a great talk with them because they so open-minded
really unexpected eh, especially mom..
however i still feel happy and thankful
i've spent alot of time with my mommy ;)

nothing much special during holiday
now im just facebook-ing
and the activities repeated for every single days
SO LAME

above pic is my very new look!
took last nightafter back from dinner ;)
goodnight ;) xoxo!

fresh air ;)

i feel good blogging early in the morning
i woke up early because i need to go for my driving test
but when i rushing get prepared
suddenly mom told me the test was cancelled!
they change it to tomorrow morning ;(
after i heard it i was like ARRRGGHHH!
why dont tell me earlier
i was so in the mood to sleep lo ><
this few days i always late sleep
only last night i manage to sleep early
i really want to take the chance to sleep until enough
but all spoiled by my alarm ;(
try to get into sleep back but once i awake
there is no way i cant sleep in
so i just wake up, plus that my hubby also wake up already
he is preparing himself to go work
i really feel 'BU SHE DE' to let him go
since he was just here yesterday evening
so fast need to go back there again
its okay laa... few more days he gonna have a long holiday
just need more patient to wait!

but thats not my real point
my point is i really feel good to have a very fresh air today
last time when i used to be in secondary school
i always woke up early and i really hated it
but now i really miss the moment
alarm every morning.. rushing prepared to go school ;)
i wish i could go back to high school!
countdown 5days


HAPPY HOLIDAY ;) MERRY CHRISTMAS

i want more!

recently im on my slimming schedule
im not a diet type and also not a sport type
so i still eat alot while doing some small exercises
every evening i went to my grandmom house
im having my exercise team
which is stand from my cousin's
we all play badminton everyday ;)
i think that is the most easy exercise for me..
i became harworking day by day
my common weight always 39-40kg
but i get shocked when i saw my weight just now!
in a week im losing 0.5kg
it means that my weight now is 38.5kg
alot people told me that my weight count as not normal dy
but i think it suit me alot
as im not a 'SUPERMODEL' type
i wish i have the leg, but...
i just cant imagine how ugly im gonna look like
if im over weight.. so i really need to keep my body fit
must always be the slimmest i can ;)
also i wish to have a sexy and hot hotty body..
so im gonna hardwork until i satisfy!

this is my face with 38.5kg
i dont think there is a big different
i still look same ;(

i miss you badly ;X

baby.. where are you?
why dont you come back?
is it there really many work to do?
you told me you will always come back
but everytime you failed to do like you had promise
i dont dare to say 'NO'
because i know how much you are struggling with this work

but you start to forget one thing >> ME

in a week, i just have 3days..
to see you..
to talk with you..
to see your smile..
to heard your jokes..
to hold your hand..
to kiss your lips..
to hug you..
until i fall asleep at your shoulder ;(
i miss all of that
but now its hard for me to get it anymore
plus that your work place are too far
even if you have handphone or laptop
its unuseful because there are no any signal
really hard to find you sometime

sometime i asking myself
why do i need to push myself so hard to be with you?
is this relationship really exist some LOVE?
are we really inlove?
i dont know.. i cant give an answer
i do know & realize that im really important for you
and i know you cant go anywhere without me
you always need my support with you
yeahh.. sometime im not that supportive
but when we really in serious talk
i do take everything seriously..
especially for your career
thats why i always keep myself silent
eventhough sometimes it really pissed me off!

whenever i am about to give up
i really wanted to say BRE*K!
but automatically my tears cant stop flowing down my cheek
SEE.. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU MA!
lin C dont go so far anymore eh..
i really need you here..
you promise to give me a great holiday
i only got one month
now almost go to january eh..
can you pls come back asap?
i still waiting for you..
really! still have like mountain kinabalu that high..



公, i really miss you!

hey..i cames finally
its been so so long im away from my beloved blog
its not that im lazy to share my stories
but there is nothing special..
i dont wanna share RUBBISH at here!

well, i dyed my hair again ;) taadaaa!
not a big changes because i dyed to light brown
same like my old hair colour, take a look!

zoom up to tiring face ;) haha

I Love You, Dad!

yesterday i went for a breakfast
with daddy mommy and my bro, Allan..
we came first because mom have some work
then we ordered simple food
while waiting my dad friends and mom
so dad was reading his newspaper
i dont know somewhere somehow i look at him
i watch every step & move he is doing..
he took out his spect and wore it
suddenly i was stuck
looking every part of my dad body
i look at his hair..
i noticed that there is tiny white hair
almost half of his head are them
and then i look at his skin..
so many wrinkle around his face
no more smooth & soft when he is younger
suddenly i feel sad, hurt..
my tears almost drop
but i hold myself tightly!
i scare dad noticed that i was looking at him..
i realized that too many changes at him
that i never seen before
even i was just growing up next to him
i never give 100% attention to dad before this
and now suddenly i feel regrets..i was too busy on my life
until i forget about my family
dont even realize the changes on them
especially dad, he's getting older..
and seriously yesterday was my first time having breakfast with him ;(
all i know was asking for money from him
never ever ask about his life condition
i feel sorry for daddy
because i should ask for his health & talk with him
but all i know was dating with my boyfriend
i should have more time for him
as i was the eldest and only daughter!
dad never complain us
never lost his attention towards us
but whenever he started to mad
we said he is annoying!
haissss.. now i blame myself because i ever said it too
my dad is a tough guy
but he also getting weak
plus that he is getting older now..
care & attention.. he need this now
and i promise
im going to give him this
learning to care
is my new target now!
i have to change the way i care them..
and i wish i will..

time past very fast..
all the people are getting older
included me..
went to my grandma house
i saw my granpa pic and i realize that
he already past away for almost 3years!
when i saw my little cousin
all of them are getting taller and bigger
changes occur everyday
but hard to see..
i need to be ready
and i have to go on without daydreaming!
time is life.. to my dad

I'M SORRY DADDY!

sweet 19 to baby lim ;)

celebrated my baby lim birthday yesterday
actually there is a plan
but it is failed..
all because of my stupid period ;(
the birthday boy should be the 'king'
but i still steal the spotlight
haihh.. bai fon kan
i argue with him yesterday
actually i really dont want to argue with him
but i can do nothing because i cant control my temper
sorry baby ;( huhu i spoiled ur big day
luckily he is okay
but still hurt when he drop his tears
the most saddest birthday i ever gave him
thanks to u stupid young lady..
but he having blast on his birthday night
when all of the guy throw him into pool
imagine how cold the water..
all of them come kick
because they plan to go swim on 12midnight @@
we having this cupcake with cigaratte as candle
hahaha really fun..
i just watched because i cant go into the water..
otherwise the water gonna change to reddish
he was so happy laa that nite
and then we go for a simple dinner with YungYung
direct go to airport
send yung's friend to Kuching ;) bye vincent!
sorrryy no clubbing or cake
because the hubby say 'NO'
he's kinda weird, i never saw someone birthday
without a cake and blow candle..
even birthday song ;(
he just want a simple dinner with me and his cousin
nevermind laa.. birthday celebrated every year ma
still have another year..

but i still want to list down the 19facts that made me so inlove with you ;)

1. You are totally 'HANDSOME' for me ;)
2. I love bad guy..
3. You are LESS EDUCATED but not STUPID!
4. Respect all of my family
5. You are my enemy but best friend too
6. You made me like 'S.U.P.R.I.S.E' for you
7. I always the NO.1 (u said so)..
8. You sayang me like Daughter,Sister,GF & Wifey ;)
9. You never give me Money but Present..
10. My hotel whenever im homeless
11. You always sing a song for me..
12. you are passionate >< i loved most!
13. FIERCE but SOFT-HEARTED(only me laa)
14. Never say 'NO' when i say 'TIDAK BOLEH'
15. I am the winner, you are the loser ;P
16. You yell & shout at me but cried like HELL
17. You cant watch me sick/in pain..
18. SMILE is your greatest gift to me ;)
19. ALICE THEODORA SONG is your heart..

HAPPY SWEET 19 MY DEAR LIM ;)
wish u luck with ur career
& happy always ;D
love u darling!

feel of facing exam ;(

first of all..
i wish i have the power
dividing myself into 2 different people
so that is easier for me
to have a balanced and healthy thinking..
i have this bad attitude
and i thought i've changed
actually it still inside me..
my weakness is i cant think positively/twice
i judge people by her/his first mistakes
yeah.. that is me ;( i hate myself too!
i always out of mind..
thinking too much..
& imagine bad things occur to me :(
nonsence right? i agree too!
i wish i could be matured like my friends
i envy the way they solve their probs
deal with people in matured ways..
haihhh.. alice, one more month
then u going to be 18!
dont so childish anymore laa ;(

and i really sorry to mom and bro
i was like so 'BODOH'
when i turn around & ignored them
i should look at them & say BYE
but i was too ego to look back
i really feel bad for that!
i dont even dare to make a call
actually i want to call mom
but i lack of braveness
i cant do it..
because i dont want to hear mom crying ;(
*sorry mi >< very sorry!
but u should know that im very saving now
i didnt use my money for fun
i really wasted it in my daily use ;(
i hope u understand..

another thing..
i wish i could see YOU today
but still i need to wait ;(
i know its alot of work that u have to do
i wish u going to be okay at there
its been 1week 3days i didnt saw u
wish u will be here tomorrow
i miss u so much baby
really need u ;(

having 10Tan of tension
really stress out with the final exam stuff
i wish i have a genius mind!
so i can go through the examination..
lastnight mom beg me to get a good result
but in my heart actually was 'mi,atleast pass laa'
i know im not a genius
so i can stop dreaming to have straight A's/number of A
it wont be happen!
and yeah i quite lazy
but this few days i do have revision
& check out past year questions
so wish it is easy like i saw..
or else i really dont have idea how to go for the exam..
i dont want too much pressure
so dont put too much hope on me!
i only can give my best
im not genius! i cannot give extraordinary result
pa,mi & baby..
pls just support, dont push me so hard!
i promise the result going to be okay..

p/s : i miss home, family and baby! i want to go back ;(

3 Big Things ;(

day by day..
i cant stop myself from watching the clock
i count every second every minute
until it turns to be hours
i sleep late recently
im having insomnia now ;(
because i was so worried about
the next '3BIG THINGS'
that i am going to face soon..

major & most important thing..
♥SAYANG SWEET 19♥
i haven buy anything for him yet
as he already have everythings..
he have branded thingy
so that is too common for him
i wish to give him some special stuff
but i dont know what should it be
i know he dont hope anything from me
& dont want me spend too much
for his coming birthday
cause he want to make it simple
but as i am too over the top
i wish to have a big party..
delicious cake & dinner
fabulous birthday present
and of course a super amazing club!
(if only kk have that kind of club)
everybody give a big CLAP & HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
huhh.. i wish he is going to be happy
but i know im out of budget
so dont even think about it ;(
i should make it simple
cause he ask for it..
im gonna make him angry if i act CLEVER!
ok alice! stop urself..

2nd thingy..
I WANT TO GO HOME
i am homesick!
i miss home
i miss papa & mama
i miss my stupid brother
i miss my kids.. Gucci & Chanel Lim
i miss my room
i miss my bed
i miss my car
i miss my astro & flat tv
i miss my comp
i miss my sofa
i miss my mom homedish
i miss my granma
i miss my cousins
i miss my aunt & uncle
i miss my kakak
i miss kampong!
i miss everything in keningau ;(
i wish i am there now
but still stuck with my final exam..

3rd thing..
I HATE EXAM BUT I HAVE TO GO..
i got the schedule & that pissed me off
im having my final exam on 30th Nov
a night after my hubby birthday!
what the birthday would be?
if i brings book along..
he must going to call me sleep early
do revision & bla bla bla..
as he is over concern of my exam
i dont want to be 'ULAT BUKU' on his bigday
so now im still fnding way
to be a good GF
& prepare for my coming exam..GOD BLESS ME ;)

gaming mode now
but line sucks!
p/s : coutdown 7days!

I am so BITCHY!

dont get shocked with the bicthy words k
haha because honestly i always do..
but it only comes when there are only
SAYANG & ME (evil laugh)
although lastnight we having a lil war
but it tends to become so great
what's funny was because
he beg me to be there with him tonight
'B.. 回来eh, my birdy wake up' haha
it cames to my mind suddenly
imagine a super sexy bedtime with him!

okay! im not going to be silent
i can play this kind of game with him
how i just ask him to close his eyes
and then telling that
i was slowly take off my clothes
like in movies laa.. when girl start to get high.. haha
and then it is time to open the zip
slowly.. make the boys wondering
what type of underwear she's wearing
she do shave bold or layer.. ahaha
..tuuutttttttt tutttttttttt..
so can u imagine my look?
only with a bra on top
and wearing damn hot underwear..
hahaha, nose bleeding juga ba ;)
even im not sexy as MEGAN FOX!
*not real laa, just GODAGODA him*
fun what? boy are so passionate
girl should 'tap line' haha
he was just LOL>>'B kau memang jahat ba, gete'!!
pity him, only could listen to my LIN HUA
but then our conversation are so great
errr i dont prefer a boring talk laa
so not us..
we rather talk FEI HUA because
ITS BETTER TO BUILD RELATIONSHIP!
kuang kuang.. palui ba me
just for fun laa
better i goda him first
before other chick got chance to goda him kan?
boys ba... girls i tell you
dont too confident with ur pretty face
sometimes it is so unuseful
because they dont need a pretty girl
they need somebody
that can share everything with them
not sex only laa ba..
must got few of u misunderstood leh ;)
i mean hobby..
stories..
life..
& so on..... think by urself yang lain
i cannot list down all
my brain still lagging
chehhhh still thinking about my bedtime!haha
aiyoo ssorrrryyy if too open minded
im sharing my life with him
plus, this is my blog
i got the right to write anything i want to..
if u are under 18, tutup mata!
jgn baca kakak punya story ;)
nanti mumy kamu cari sia ;P
if u are open minded
just read laa, im ok with it!
i dont have to be shy
because i love to show off ><
bout my happiness, sadness, fun & joy
even if i have any prob
i feel better when i write it out
rather than telling it to others..
sorry again k!

p/s : dont try this at home, only for 18above ;)

suffer with backbone!

errrr im suffer again
this time not about emo feel
its with my back bone!
i dont know what kind of sick or disease
i always feel pain
especially in the morning
when i was just woke up from my sleep
even after do massage
still feel pain again the next day
almost a month..
still havent found any way to recover
i hope there is no injured inside my body
it really make me tired
always feel dizzy
i sleep well everynite
but then next day will so suffer?
anyone can help me to find the solution?
what actually cause this?
and then i cough so bad..
its because i didnt take medicine
i do it on purpose cause i kinda phobia with it
er.... family bf and friend shud know bout it
so no need to explain much ;)
just hope i will recover soon
BACKBONE pls dont give me trouble gain
when will u leave me?
seriously i dont need u! huhu..
so pls back off from my body!

today i do my own holiday!haha
because im lazy and not comfortable
all because of SICK word
try to be good girl
but still bad girl win the battle
since i was just go to bed at 4.30am
i dont have any energy to wake up
plus tomorrow dont have class
so better make it fast! haha
shhhhtttt.. silent k
if my mom know bout this
im gonna die soon
2weeks away to my sayang birthday
what present for this year ah?
i know he going to celeb it at kk
so SECRET RECIPE cake must be in the list ;)
hope u like it k sayang!
bout ur present
i told u im going to buy boxer and condom
this no jokes! haha u'll get it on time!
boleh ba kan?? hehe
feel excited to celeb it with him
so good to have a phone talk with u
i hope u going to be fine
dont too 'keras kepala'
however i still support u
dont worry everything will be fine soon!
muah..xoxo love u always!

OH.. ALMOST FORGET!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SILLA!
my lovely housemate ;)
sorrrrrryyy laa kami siram pakai telur ah
actually ada special recipe tu kami campur
tu la ada bau semacam! haha
happy birthday girl ;)
hope u happy always
and stay cute k! muahhhhh
sayang banget!





p/s: im feel better now!

Alice dying!

my emo feel come to say 'HI' again
im writing same story everyday
because im so down..
i need someone seriously
i have to talk..
but im not sure
i able to answer the question
i could give a perfect feedback ;(
actually i almost forget
but i saw a post just now
it said : friend and bf? which one important?
of course most answer will be>>Friend
so do i..

but then im thinking
BF? why not..
something wrong with them?
actually bf is the one
who said 'I LOVE YOU' to u everyday
did ur friend say so to u? NO!
yess friend love us
i love my friend too
but how could we compare
the love between friend and bf..
friend love us as siblings
but bf love us as their soulmate
which one u want more?
u need to choose by urself
for me LOVE..
i already have the answer
i admit i am so selfish
atleast i have the braveness
to choose one of them..
my friends are important
i care them.. i love them
i know they love me too!

'Friends can be forever,but Love cant'
what the heck is that?
gosh stupid laa who said this!
use ur mind ba..
why love cant be forever? prove it to me
it depends on the way u handle ur relationship
not because of faith.. ok!
if friends forever
then must be love forever
dont shortcut mind ba..
love forever not just for bf laa
it incuded to ur family, friend or even ur pets!
so dont say love cant be forever..
remember this k!

fuhhhh..like 'dokter cinta' udah
buduh me! u can ignored this actually
dont be like me ;D haha
i just give opinion
dont take it too serious k ;)
chill ba.. life must go on
we must happy everyday! wohoo!

gaming mode now
continue later if i have new inspiration
haha ;D goonight all..xoxo

p/s: LIM dont worry! aku sanget baik di sini ;) u too k! take care my love ;) muahh!

happy for a moment

why happy for a moment?
because after tonight
im going to be lonely again..
i need somebody with me now
but i lost both
MY LOVE?
he is 'sick'
i dont dare to bother him
i'll scare i'll make him angry again
i really happy when he show a smile
before leaving my house
last thursday..
but deep in his heart
i know there is still
abit of anger towards me
i dont sure if he still need me in his life now..
blame myself.. im too 'kepala batu'
thats why he angry
actually i dont care anything anymore
as long he still know
how to come back to me
then im satisfied..
Yess, i am stupid..
but i cant deny that i still need him
i always said there is no chance
but chance come again and again
because our relation its not easy
only u know what i mean sayang!
thats our secret..
if we could keep it
but unfortunately ...........
im regrets for the stupid action
i hate them who made u angry
i dont care about them anymore
i just want to care ur feels
pls forgive me!

haihhh emo emo..
thanks to mom ;)
stick with mom today
shopping all day long
pity mom cause bought alot for me
err.. but she alot more than me!
haha ;D
although its not longlasting
but atleast she give me love today
thanks again mommy!

p/s: sayang!mommy looking for u ;)

sorry im useless!

for the first time
im so useless...
speechless...
pointless...
disappointed...
anger toward myself...

why?

at the time u in trouble
frustrated...
hopeless...
sad...
lonely...
u need me so much!
but i cant even help u
u want my companion
but i seems dun care
u want to talk to me
but i talk about something else
i blame u for being moody
but i forgot..
how much pain inside u
i angry when u ignored me
but i forgot..
actually u're thinking somebody
ways to solve the prob
how to back to normal...

i am the only person
that u can refer to..
talking to..
cheer u..
chill u..
company u..
i am ur only hope!
atlast i am the only one
who didnt understand u
gave u a care..

i am sorry!
really sorry..
i hope there still
have a lil space for me
to be there for u..
like u always said..
i'll be there for u..
its my turn to be there for u
do something for u..

family story

yesterday im doing assignment
topic was about my biodata
feel to blogging now
so i have this idea to write bout me
errr.. lets start with family matter

ok!my family..
Alice Theodora Song Ai Lee
that is my given name
was born on 10dec1992
a female baby ya ;)
do u know that im sino?
ok let me make this clear
i know laa my look not so "chinese"
but the fact is
my PAPA is CHINESE
my MAMA is DUSUN
they were such a great parents
although sometimes they're demanding..
very proud to have them as my parents
daddy quite steady
he not too control
always giving what i wish..*money*
but once he explode
nahhhhhh.. Boom Boom Pow!
mommy is my superwomen ;)
she very helpful in my clothing
haha like mom like daugh
what a girl need>> shopping!
she's my assistance this
if involving fashion or make up
always have a good comment
what i remember most
=>baby,jangan pakai terlampau sexy ba..haha
my mom phrases nihh..
and then i have this two lil bro
not so lil laa...
cause both now taller & bigger than me
they almost my big bro & im the lil sis@@

about my bro..
Allan is the good one
he treat me kind
respective..
he do what i told him to do
i am the mistress at home
hahahahaha ;D
Alric?? no no
he is the rebel one
what he know is laugh at me
making fun..
let me angry..
to see him being good with me?
ohya..when he need to get something from me
but they still among the best bro
if they saw im in trouble
i am lucky cause i have this great fam
only them can cheers me..

start to jealous ah..?
still alot i want to write nihh
now about my in-law side..hehe
should start who first?

i say.. Sayang!
he is my everything
want to know why?
for heart..
he is my soulmate
loved man...
boyfriend...
bestfriend...
enemy...
companion...
listener...
second daddy...
second mommy...
my big brother...

For physical
he is my bank for sure..haha
thanks for the bank card laa k baby ;)
my bodyguard..
my tukang urut..
my tukang masak..
my exercise couch*for bedtime
orang gaji..
doctor.. when im lovesick
counselor..
bla bla bla.....banyak laa
dont know how to list down
honestly YOU are the best
amazing one..
paling dai siak laa ;D


for my dearest Mr&Mrs Lim
they are the most sporting
helpful.. supportive..
kind.. generous..
loving person..
my second parents..
Mr.Lim..
thanks for the sponsorship
when i need shopping
thanks for the money u gave me
the time i help u jaga rumah(gaji)
thanks for the trip
u invite me go along..
thanks for always spending me
breakfast lunch dinner..
thanks for helping me always
Mrs.Lim..
thanks for the puppies..
thanks for the present u bought
for me everytime u overseas
thanks for the cheese cake
u bake for me on my 17th birthday
thats sweet and im so grateful..
thanks for being my 2nd mom
u persuade me everytime
when u saw im in pain..
thanks for everythings..

should list down my "sis"
mr. Robin Chong..hehe
thanks for ur help yung
my funny clown
ur jokes really work
when im moody..
thanks for helping me
when im alone and lost help at kk
u always the num 1
when my hubby not around
happy to have u this big bro..

of course to the lovely ama..
thanks for ur siak
always get a kiss when i saw u
u treat me very kind
like ur own grandchild
muahhh siak ama ;)

to my bro&sis in law
we are not so close
but sometimes also 38-ing
especially nicole..
u cool ;)
sometimes scared to talk with u
but u open minded thou..

see.. alot people siak
im just like a lil bab
that need alot of protection
im lucky...
because they willing to care
THANKS FAMILY
heart you all ;)

miss but patient

Fuhh i made a full stop finally..
i felt tired

BUT

today mom chatting with me
she keep pushing me to study hard
i've told her about the assignment
i've told her about my revision
i've told her about my time table
she still pushing..

MOM
seriuosly im exhausted
i really want to go home
i miss all of you
i miss home
i miss my bed..
i miss Gucci and MeiMei

next week..
im going to go home
its been a long time i away from home
or else i hope all of u to come here
visits me when you all free
i really lonely

But thanks to Sayang
u came everyweek to company me
i feel grateful
u know im going to be lonely
so u come down to see me
talk with me
bring me gaigai
shopping..
movies..
gaming..
now im waiting for u again
its thursday!
u promised u coming on friday morning
hope they let u come earlier ;)
miss u so bad

now i back to my game
sleepy but lazy want to go bed
goodnight..
sweet dreams

attention on study

STRESSFUL..STUDY..
only this two words in my mind now
this week i am going to struggle
cause i need to pass up assignment
but also taking the mid-term at the same time
GOSH!
i dont have any preparation
i do my revision every night
but still cant memories all
all the stress started to come
IM SCARED
watching my mom stand behind
showing a face full of disappointment
her hope towards me are higher than mountain
bigger than ocean..
how am i going to make her proud of me?
it is not easy to be the only daughter for them
I NEED TO SHOW MY GOOD RESULT
so that my mom wont cuci my telinga every time
I NEED TO ALWAYS STAY AT HOME
so that my mom trust that i have study
I NEED TO SAVING
so that my mom will give me more money

DAD always played a role as my saviour..
he gave me money when im totally broke
he trust that im going to have a good result
its like mom>>DEVIL and dad>>GOD
but mom loved me so much.. i know that!

oppss away from topic@@
come back come back..
my topic was about the tension that im facing towards my assignment and exam
i really cant stand on it
all was done last minute
i dont have enough space to breathe anymore
i just hope i can pass
and so on to my next sems...

my fragrance ;)

Yeaaaahhhhh...
now i have a bunch collection of fragrance
actually im not so fanatic with perfume
but me myself also dont know since when
and how i am suddenly fall inlove with it..
just feel like i need it anytime to make me feel fresh
i really loved the smell of this vanilla perfume
it makes me want to lick myself
like candy this..
brought my sayang to The Body Shop
he kinda love the smell
and finally this was mine!
Thankss for the sponsorship baby..
so so so grateful that you bought it for me
i thougth you will get mad
but u smiling and say "as long u happy laa"
not so expensive juga ma kan ;D
jahat nie, tukang habis duit laki..hehe
going to find another type of fragrance soon!

i am going to get both of this in this week ;) ahh new fragrance!

wake up in the early morning

ahhhhh.. long time im away from my blog
many things happen for this week
but how to write ya?
ok.. lets start with monday ;)

MONDAY : went back to kk ;( sit almost 2hours and half..alone at the bus..haisss! so scary and dizzy :( arrive there at 6.30pm, of course friends are waiting for me at there >>>> headed to K-box cause TienTien feel like wanna SCREAM SHOUT! haha

TUESDAY : a special day for me ;P went out with my besties (chi,anne,tien) errmm, should be added this one guy..better just call him lin pi laa.. Yeah!that is his name given by US ;) ngek ngek! alot fun,alot song,alot dance,alot 3838383838 ;) when we send anne2 back to her house, this "JINGLE" bark-ing nonstop! kalah bha engine sound!

WEDNESDAY : hoooray!finally we move to the new building ;) WELCOME new unitar, BYEBYE my taman dixon ;( moving to beverly this friday! arrgghh im going to miss my uncle dish..

THURSDAY : went to class like usual >< taking quiz just now, quite easy but hope will get a high mark too cause im careless thou!arrrgghh forget to do my timetable, im going to have my mid-term two weeks later =X stressful

FRIDAY : errrrr, sleep early then woke up early in the morning, open my laptop and blogging now!FUHhh..tik tak tik tak, waiting for my darling ;) yess!

so how about the short story? isit hard to get my point?
nvm laa, as long i understand my language..
oppss.. btw can't wait to meet my new born baby!
here i come 3.0VIGO
my reddish baby had been replace now
but mumy still miss u k!
for the new owner of 8278.. take care of HIM

-end of story-

♥ Drink Drank Drunk

my saturday and sunday night just Drunk Drunk Drunk,lazy want to wrote much!so just look at the pic ;) ignored the half naked and our stupid face!

still steady tiz

the hubby ;)

the cousin ;)

ignored the face

lastnight getting drunk

im not alcoholic, just having fun at weekend ;) now still feel dizzy dizzy but someone worst than me ;D haha belajar tapai laa darling, tiz just enough kick!

♥ help them and you'll be blessed

okay today im done with the bf thingy..
its quite lame to write the same topic everydays
so here it comes....
i think i am going to write about the global
actually i am just finished watching The Oprah Winfrey Show
then i realized that i started to like the show
this show leading us and teaching us about life
to shows us how somebody from low level life
jump up to be a billionaire...
some of them may have lived in a dirty and disgusting place
or some of them might have been imprisoned for serious offenses
but it doesnt matter because
they managed to change their lives to become a better person
errrr, lets just start about the real topic
actually im going to express my opinion about the famous issue
its about Child and Drug Abuse
based on a series of television programs that i have seen just now
i really feel sympathy for the situation they faced
almost all of this story happened while they were still as a young child
it includes her own show host, Oprah Winfrey
so the victim was Todd Bridges
the former child actor in the famous series, Diff'rent Strokes
even he seem to have a perfect life
but the fact of his real life is not as perfect as we saw
in the television screen......

the case began when he violated the honor by a man
who was living together in his house while he was still a child
after it was found by her mother
he tried to complain to his father
but his father did not believe the incident and stressed that he lied
so, he began to feel angry and revenge against his father
because his father did not trust the fact that it was real
Thus he became involved with drugs
condition worsened after he ran away from home
and started selling drugs...
he also has become the most powerful
drug dealers and prostitution supplies in one neighborhood
he said he was awake for 14 days when he was with the drug fantasy
at the same time he behaved like a mad man
he said when he was arrested by the police
they were again sent him to the rehabilitation centers
he told that all this is pointless for him
because he had been there several times
and still repeating his actions
but this time was different........
4points that he was bound by both hand and foot
and dressed in diapers
he also had to urinate in the diapers
because he is not allowed to go to the toilet
through that experience he decided to change
he finally managed to leave the drug for 17years
and proved he was clean until today
he also married and had children of their own
although he has changed but people still bring up about his past
so he wrote a book entitled "The Killing Willis"
in the book is a journey
throughout his life involved with drugs and after leaving drugs
he also talked about ways to be a good father to his children
because he did not want his children to feel
the lack of love
and affection of a father as he went through when he was young...
finally he thanked his mother
who always persevere and never stopped supporting
him to change his life and managed to become a better person

i would like to express my perceptions about this issue
because i feel annoyed with irresponsibility as a father
who failed to pay attention to their child
who ultimately forcing them
to be involved with drugs to get rid of frustration...
i feel i got obsessed with this issues
because i also want to help children who deal with problems like this
not only in financial terms
but also in terms of volunteer helps...
i think i have no heart to continue
to allow these children to suffer like this
because they have plenty of opportunities
to become better human beings
when they grow up in groups of healthy
and supplied with a high standard of education
i hope that the public concern about these problems
and willing to help these children...

anyone who read this article
think well and try to jointly solve the problem
especially to parents, give all of your love and trust to your children
so they do not fall in social activities that are not healthy...

p/s : i am grateful to have parents who love and understand my situation when i was going through hormonal changes, and i will find and buy the book to find out the real story of the victim.

♥ Heartache!

ONE WEEK
finally its been a week, you did well
just like what i wish for, you really did great
you do everythings good
no message no call not even meet me
why do you care? cant you ignored my stupid shitty words?
why you followed everythings i demand to you?
can you be a man? pls dont always let me win
pls dont always listen to my words
dont you know that mentioning separation only when i am angry?
dont you know me well?
this is not what i want...
today i called both of your manager
just hope they will help me send a regard to you at there
i do miss you, very much!
i really want to meet you, even just for a second!
calm down pls ;( forget the fucking hell stupid agreement
i dont want it anymore
i just want you come back, let me hear your voice
let me hold your hand again
let me hug you again
let me sleep on your shoulder again
just a day also enough for me, i didnt ask more!
darling pls, i take back all my words
pls dont stay too long at there
i am heartache right now.. totally speechless
even the funniest movie we had ever watched together also cant make me smile right now.. i lost my happiness
baby do you hear all of this?
you always told me when you alone at there
you will hear and know what is in my heart
so do you know what im thinking right now?
do receive my message to your heart?
dont you miss me?
dont you want to see my face?
i remember you always said you cant stop from seeing my "meaty cute face"
*but i dont think so, im not cute as you said
i wonder how if you really can hold yourself from coming back
means i really need to wait till 25november?
i hope you wont do that...
dont be stupid, i know you wont treat me so bad
is it i am persuade-ing myself?
so ridiculous, i look like an idiot now
anne's right, she called me just now
she said maybe you just busy or do something
or maybe you want raise money to buy me something
or maybe you have an suprises for me(since you always failed to give cause of my sampat mouth) haha
i think so.... persuade-ing again @@
uurrggghhhh hope this week past quickly
i really cant wait for another week
just wish to see you ASAP

DEAR GOD : pls make my wish come true, only a small matter, hope can get a call from him tmr ;( i really do hope this will happen, give me miracle pls! i promise im going to changed my bad behaviour, no more this! pls pls pls ;( i'll do anything to make him come back again. Thanks GOD, amen!

♥ YOU

Sayang......
today when i wake up, i look at the time
its early in the 7morning
i need to wake up early cause tientien's friend (ewan) going to pick us for breakfast
long time didn't go MCD, so i choose MCD for our breakfast
pls dont mad at me because i go out with them k
after breakfast actually i want to go to print my assignment
but since too many people at the shop
we decide to print it another day
Then went to UITM find Anneanne, but she didnt answer my call
so we just go to another place
finally i know where is the Crocodile Park
last time you told me you looking for that place
now, i know how to go there edy
plan to bring you go there so i keep wait for you
suddenly my phone rang!
i look at the screen, "ANNE"
quite dissapointed because i waiting for your call
but still i answer and feel happy when i heard her voice
so we turn back and went to UITM again
Yeah, i could see my babe's face and talk face to face with her
eventhough its just a while but i still happy for that conversation
she's invited me to her house tmr but i didnt promise that i can go
cause i still waiting for you to come here
then we can go together..........
wait and wait
it is almost 12.30pm
you still haven call me ;(
i know you not coming back already
i try to smile, talk louder to cover my sadness
unfortunately tientien still can see that im down
this time you suddenly take my words very serious
usually you will ignored it
but now you really show me that you are heartless than me
hmmmmm...........you so evil baby
you know i didnt mean it, i just say like that to make you scare
to make you find me more
but i guess i am wrong this time
you just leave me and went to camp without any sound
now you even stay there for a long period time
i dont even know when are you coming back again
i really hurt..
i miss your soften voice so much..
i miss you hug me tightly..
i miss your smelly body..
i miss your kiss..

*i miss you say "Goodnight laopo" before we close our eyes and in silent mode

*i miss you say "Baby, dont garugaru my paha leh" when i try to stop you get into your sweet dream

*i miss you say "im hungry oh,cook maggi for me eh laopo" after we eat and you still perut kosong

*i miss you say "can help me do some massage ma baby" when you just back from work

*i miss you say "come we go to take bath together" but you not dare cause mentua tidak bagi

*i miss you say "eat baobao ah,i want you become fuipo" eventhough i going to vomit edy

i miss everythings about you ;(
Baby, can you ignored my words again?
can you come back?
i want you T_T

i cant sleep without you

PLEASE

♥ my little life

Baobei
this is the third day of our "Love Quarantine"
i call like that because i really dont wanna mention about B-words
besides we still in our love relationships
i know this is my idea and i totally regrets for my stupid actions
but if im quit right now, im still the selfish girl
i just hope you will come down and accompany me if you are free
DONT WORRY BABY
i admit that life without you is completely going mess and lonely
but life must go on.....
sometimes when i suddenly think of you
like usual the tears going to be my partners again
i really cant stop thinking about you........

Today my cousin ask me if i wanna go clubbing with her
let me think?actually I DO, i really want to go
but i know if you know about this
you must be very angry with me so i just reject her invitation
of course, i know myself very well if im drunk
*i dont want to talk about it, if you know just shut your mouth!
so i was thinking....
can we go again just for a night?
look i dont mean to be ALCOHOLIC i just want to get some joy and fun
you see, i still care about you
im not going anywhere without your permission
which means i do anythings that i promised with you
(the night before i decide to go away)
so can you trust me now?
i hope after you back from camp
you will view my blog and check out what im doing for the whole week
ERM I KNOW YOU WILL because you know i'll write evrythings here ;)
suddenly im speechless
i dont know what to write, what to tell
just got you in my mind
i think im done...........
goodnight!

♥ i make a decision for us

we have spoke out everythings lastnight, i feel better now
finally i know that you still love me just like you always do
you told me that many things borther you this few months
i understand your condition
so i make a decision for both of us
i think this is the way that can make us relax our mind
i let you go...........
not break up okay, i let you go for work
do your own things until its complete
i dont want to disturb you for a while
i want to let you concentrate on your work
so that you wont keep thinking about managing your time for love and career
i know you always put me on the first place
but if because of me make you lost your concentration
i rather go away for a moment
its best for you and me.....
i'll support you honey, i will help you this time
1MONTH i wait you
i sure after 1month we will be together again
take care baby!

♥ its started to fades away

baby...........
theres alot i want to tell you
but we never have any chance to talk to each others
i dont know why
day by day the way you treat me really strange
maybe its me think too much
but why seems like you dont care me anymore
you know?
its really hard for me to let you go
but you know me, i hate myself if i cant give my love one a happiness
is it hard? i think its simple to do
all i want is give you a happiness but i cant even give it to you
i really dont know if i had give you any happiness this 3years
i admit i dont understand you, but you also same
you also never understand what i want
i had wait and wait and wait.........
for a long time, u become independent
but me? i am just a girl that too count everythings on you
small matters also need you to help me solve it
everything must be you to help me
i became spoiled.. spoiled by your love
why you give me alot? you give me everythings that i never wish for
i really thought that we will happy forever
but no, love wont easily make us have a happy ending
sorry for everythings..
im just not suit for you i think
this several weeks you really changed
i feel like im not important anymore
you know how sad i am
the fears coming back again
fears that scare will losing you again
i really cant!
it always make me awake on mid night
always had a bad dream about you
its really bother me
when i try to tell you, you at other side
how am i gonna tell you?
when you come back, you just treat me so cold
what i need to do?
this tears should stop now
but i really have no idea to make it stop! pls
just for this time
come to my side and show me your love once again
if not,i maybe would lost all of my trust that i put in this relationship
pls baby..........pls stop me from crying
i hope u read this!
really fallin love with you
i really cant stop it anymore
I LOVE YOU♥

♥ facebook!

oh no! this is not happening :(
I CANT LOGIN MY FACEBOOK!
i dont know why i cant login in to it
is it being hacked by people or what?
why why why? i love my facebook
pls dont do this to me, i lazy to make a new account!
but i think i need to make one
this old account proberly just being hacked by others
i started to hate the system of facebook dy
dont make it become like stupid friendster
i just want to use it to communicate with friends
why ban mine?
arrrggghhhhhh so angry right now
my keypad almost broke just because i press it over and over again
but still could not log into it ;( huhuhuhu
dear friends wait for my new facebook!

♥ gastric ;(

this week my life full with the sickness ;( i hate to be sick!
last few days fever had attacking my hubby
now gastric attacking me, What The Hell
this time i was suffer than last time
i cant even wake up and walk around
started to get headache again, i hate being so weak
i'd eat okay. why should i get into this?
its just few hours late from taking my dinner
dont be so cruel to me
i cant fall into sick
i have my class tomorrow and the rest of the day
i dont want to escape classes
when i sick, the most scary things is MEDICINE
im so phobia with this things
im not going to put it into my mouth and let it go into my body
its gonna make me more and more weak
pls just let me get back into normal condition ;(
no more SICK word

♥ sickness

this few days included now, i still worrying about my baby condition ;(

i never saw he's getting weak day by day. this is the first time!
usually he will be the strongest among all of us
but now, he's just lying at bed or sofa

eventhough his body temperature are getting back as normal

but he still look so messy and weak

give he eat alot medicine dy

unfotunately all of that not helping ;(
he's eating habits also changed alot
this few days i can say that kucing eat alot than him
haiss.. saw his condition like that really makes me hurt
if i could find the way to heal his sickness
i'll sure will do anything to get it
i don't understand, simple fever could make him be so weak
whats going on actually?
this fever really makes him suffer
lastnight he's awake and can't get into sleep again
tomorrow gonna back to work dy
if still continously like this
i don't think that he have enough energy back to work
just hope that he's sickness will recover as soon as possible
sorry baby! failed to heal u ;( i just can took care of u!

♥ lots changes

Have all of you saw the changes in my blog?
haha, its time to change everythings inside!
I thinks this quite better than the older one.Well, pink is one of my fav colours.

So, all should be change to Pinky-Pink ;)
However this blog will always changed followed by the mood of the owner.
sometimes i just let it simple, but sometimes it must be over the top. LOL
changed alot of pic's except for my hubby pic
*he's not the type that like to SS


Fews of the things still the same ><>
but i hope you guys will still like it!
by the way, want to thanks everyone that visit my blog
and thanks for being the followers of my blog ;)
i appreciate it alot!

❤ 又哭了！

哭
我唯一一个能做的事
我没话能说
一个人在家
真得很孤单 很想找人讲话
今天你去做工了
我更寂寞
有什么事也不能讲出来
没有人一起分享
刚刚跟你讲话
你只顾着跟我说
“不能回来陪你，要等下个礼拜才可以陪你”
我承认
听到了这句话我是很生气
可是这不是唯一理由让我生气
我不开心
是应为你跟我说
今天你爸爸开始生气你了
昨天问你
你说什么都好 没问题
现在我知道真相了
你以为我心里很爽吗？
每次问你你就是不要讲出来
你要我了解你
可是为什么不敢坦白？
我知道我自私
我知道我只会发脾气
我知道我很小姐
有没有想过我在这里一个人
你偏偏说关心我
关心呢？
我没看见 没感受到
其实我有很重要的话要跟你说
居然都吵架了
我不想告诉你了
你回来后自己看吧！
现在只想睡觉
不想再掉眼泪
我真的累了！

❤无言！

我真的受够了！
现在我真得很想把自己关在一个房间里
自己大声地喊 自己发脾气 自己哭
我搞不懂 为什么？ 为什么？
我真的是那么好玩吗？
当时是你自己答应了
你还说我们必须互相帮助
现在呢？
你说过的话跑去那里了？
为什么不早早跟我商量
为什么现在才跟我说
你应该先想清楚
才做出决定
不要老是到了最后一秒
才要想到后果
然后就反悔
这样对我真的不公平
我希望你能了解我的状况
我知道你不是故意
我也知道你是有苦衷
可是你也应该要体谅我的感受
我不想面对面跟你说
应为我不想破坏我们的友谊
我还是很尊重你
写在这里
不是想要侮辱你
所以请你别误会!
我希望你还会筹一点时间
把这件事想清楚
不要把全部麻烦都放在我一个人的身上
我真的没有办法了
我不能自己一个人解决
我求求你！
不要再这样！
现在真得很想哭！
头也痛了！
请你帮帮我
不要你的金钱 不要你的安慰
我只要我们一起面对
不要丢下我一个人 ：（

❤ 发恶梦！

最近我经常发恶梦
差不多每天都发同一个梦
不知道是不是自己想太多
所以才会发这些梦
跟他说
他却答我 “你睡觉前没喝水，所以会发恶梦”
可能他说得对
我也不想自己吓自己
有人说梦里面发生的事
是相反的
如果是开心的 就会是伤心的
而如果是伤心的 就会是开心的
可是谁能确定这是真的呢？
最好是不要再发恶梦了
我很想安安心心的睡觉
现在黑眼圈也越来越大了
眼睛看起来都像肿了
真的很难看！
希望能恢复真常

❤ Lost my TRUST

TRUST
i had lost this
i don't know how to say
i just describe this as my feels now
did i done something wrong again?
WHY ?
i don't understand you anymore
is it something gone wrong between us
i don't want to involve in your games
i just want to stay simple
where we belongs to
PLEASE
awake yourself
don't be too selfish
think about other person
otherwise you will regrets someday
only this i could wrote at here


I'M SORRY !

❤ BLOG的好处！

今天又打开了我的BLOG 可是却不知道想写什么
以前的我 太多话想说 太多字想写
最近我慢慢的读了我所写过的故事
觉得每天过的日子都是一样 没有特别的事情
有些 我本身觉得TITLE跟故事内容根本就没有关系
原来要写一篇文章也是没那么简单
现在我真的无言 不知道还想说什么 不能发表自己的感言
脑袋里都是空空的

开心 伤心 寂寞 害怕 烦恼 生气


也许当我面对着一些 我才会在这里写出自己想说的话
不过我也会在这里写出我不喜欢的人的性格
也不算是在讲坏话 只是一些对他们不满的话

多希望 不用靠着它
然后可以大大声的说我们心里不舒服的话
我知道 这些是不可能
所以我还得靠着它 去叫醒 骂醒 某些人
太多东西是不能面对面来说
对不起。。。。
这三个字 是唯一我能送给你们的
我也很想坦白 不过这样会令起误会
果然我已经给了提示
我知你知 好了 就不用太尴尬
对大家是一个好处！

❤ photoshooting made a war !

yesterday i went to bunsit with a group of photographer

having a photoshooting with my besties at there
its quite tiring cause all i need to do is smile to the camera :)
but they told me my look more to the fierce look
so i need to control my laughed ==

At first everything going good
but after my sayang arrived
GOSH ! a war started again !
he's angry because i didn't told him clearly about the location
but actually i also didn't know about it
i just know that i have to go outdoor after i arrived at shop
yesterday i'm so ashamed and angry
he's always act like that
can't give abit face to another people
really hope he can changed that temper
he's the one that let me go to take the photoshooting
but then after he don't know the details
he started to yell and blame everythings to me
i know u siak me and care me laa sayang
but you should show your manner also ma.....

At my home, our war still continued
haisss...its a big disaster for us
i also shouldn't do like that
i admit that my temper almost same like him
everytime when we argue also will like that
but yesterday i know im done too much
being mad by my mom yesterday
sorry mommy it wont happen again next time

so pity to him
when i saw he's crying behind my door
what to do..angry but sayang
so i go to hug him and he's hug me back
aiyoooo..awalawal macam ini kan bagus sayang :)
need to keep kissing he's face
he just will stop crying haha
so me and him lying at my bed
talked alot about our secret
he know something new bout me
so do i...
first time so open minded
then he told me some about our past
i hope thats the truth
cause u've been cheating to me for once
so now i really hard to trust your word
i just hope all the thing that he told me
its not an another lie to me again

p/s : we never being so open mind like lastnight. quite awkward!

❤ Weird News

On monday, along the road to Kay-Kay
I was chit-chatting with my besties
We talked alot
Many stories and gossips
some rumors will make me laughed
some makes me very shocked after heard about it
I really don't know how to say laa
but i really shocked
this news also quite unacceptable
what to do... PEOPLE CHANGED FASTER!!!

I'm not 38-ing laa
I know this people also
so just caring laa
hope she/he will changed
don't hurt yourself
even you are playful but don't play too much
behave yourself :)

p/s : I don't know what are this teenagers thinking, maybe i am abit old school thinking.So, i prefer even if u are really want to try something new.pls don't act too much cause when u are getting older u will regrets! SOOOO TO ALL TENNAGERS PLS WAKE UP AND REFRESH YOUR MIND !

❤ The lil fights

Errr its abit cold tonight
Many things on my mind but don't know how to share
i want to share with anyone if i could
but i just don't feel comfortable to spread it out.Haiss

So,lets just talked about today.
5 in the morning i heard someone screaming
He's talk louder and louder
thats make me and my sayang woke up
Its DADDY.He's angry with my bro
it is all started on saturday nights
my bro didn't back to home after he's going out with his friends.
Then,when mom's called him,he didn't answer the phone.
Few min later,his phone was off.
Plus my bro trying to escape again
he refuse to go to school
thats why they angry on him..aduii

After the lil fights
my sayang and me continued to sleep
Few hours later he's awake
Then he began to tarik tarik my body
want hug me laa :)
I was a lil bit awake but still cant fight with my eyes
so i just inored him when he trying to play with me
*my sayang memang always kacau aku tidur ==
He keep call me wake up
cause he also need to go work and me going to>>>>IDA
the tutor call me to go there on 8a.m
but i was late........
aiya thats normal laa.girl love to BAN LIANG before going out.
Luckly my sayang just shut his mouth.Hehe
normally he sure will cakap banyak and keep bla bla bla!
maybe he's in good mood today :)

So went to IDA for driving practice
wasted my 3hours at there
i hope it is worth
cause i still need to go for my 8hours test
haiiiyoooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and also went to hospital visits my grandma sis
she was in a critical condition now
just hope she will get well soon.
God bless her and love her always!muahhh

goodnight♥