❤ LOVE are MEAN

今天我看到了我的朋友的BLOG里写到有关 “爱” 这两个字
我读完了 就让我想到了 其实她以前的所作所为也对她有很多好处
当时的我只是对她有仇恨 非常讨厌她 还到外面跟别人讲她的坏话
我这样做是因为她背叛了我们之间的友情 我居然没想到 原来我最相信的人却是个骗子

我还答应自己我永远都不会再原谅她 会让她永远没有好日子过
在我心里她只不过是一个下贱的人 我们翻脸也超过一年 见到面也只会向对方翻眼
就在我十七岁那时 因为某些人的坏嘴巴 令我和我的好姐妹发生误会
当时我真得很孤单 我也打算放弃了所有的友情 我没想到为什么在友情里
我居然一次又一次的被她们伤害 我很失望 十年的友情就这样的毁掉了

不久我们之间的误会都解决了 就在那时我的好姐妹告诉我
其实我的姐妹早就已经跟她好了 只是瞒着这件事 不敢告诉我
她也想跟我道歉 不过她不知要这样开口 也不知我会给她什么反应
当我知道后 我却原谅了她 ！因为这年以来我还是很怀念我们的友情
我重来都不能忘她 现在想回头 我觉得当时的我太幼稚了

没想到过了几年后 当我不开心 每天安慰我 帮着我 竟然会是她
原来之前的一切真的教训了我们 改变了很多东西 令我们成长
也令我们成熟了 ！这也证明了我们之间的爱还在 ！

关于她的爱情 我应该说是一件非常复扎的关系 我也不了解
可是我知道她比我有更多的经验 更了解男子的性格
我知道他还在想也还在担心面对真爱 可是这一切我也不能帮
我也成仅拥有过很多的伤害 心里也还有很多的伤痕 不过我还是要尽力把这些给灭掉
所以我只能在这劝她 放弃以前的事 忘记所有的伤 重新来过

就像我现在做的一样 虽然我还没恢复 可是我尽力把自己的伤痕慢慢的给忘
之前的一切 带了许多现在的甜美回忆 这就是我现在的生活
也许没以前那么复扎了 但我也不想决定现在的我会有好生活
重现在开始 我知想一切都有时间来做真真的决定

I admit that my life turn wise than before =) but it still have alot of worries

I hope my end should be THIS =) really !

❤ My Bad Weekend ='(

我又再次回到我的BLOG 可能今天会写很多 这几天也发生了很多不开心的事
每个星期 我都等待着我最珍贵的“三天” 这三天就是我和宝贝见面的时间
不过最近宝贝开始不会放这三天在心里了 整天都去钓鱼 浪费了很多时间

我不明白 他整天就是怪我没时间陪他 说我没放他在心里 不停的怪我
还叫我不要到外面去读书 要我在这里乖乖的做他的林太太 不停的求我
什么都要听他的 什么都要向他报告 什么都要他作决定

他终是要弄到我发脾气了才会害怕 嘴巴开始会说甜蜜的语言
什么都敢答应 等到我消气了 他又开始反悔 真的气死人
不想再说下起了 想到这些事只会弄到我生气 ==

This week alot of ARGUEMENT, feel so sad ='( i really upset that fishing is much more important than spending time with me. The arguement start since i didn't pick up his call, but that time i was talking phone to someone~I tried to give an explanation but he ignored it. Started to mad, yelling at me ! haiss

he called up all of his friends and going to fishing with them~I keep wait for him~wait and wait and wait~Almost 7pm he came to my house. Start to PUJUK me laa kunun. Few hours later we settled up~going to honey sweet with my babe's, he pay all the bills as an apology to me =') Lucky laa kamu sayang sekalian~kena belanja my hubby~To chi : siapa suruh tak datang~haha~joke k my dear =)

Next morning, he keep call me wake up. keep disturb me, i thought he want give me any special suprised. Too bad, he keep talk about fishing == 3pm he ask me if he can go fishing with his buddies. Arguement start again ! Sick of this. At last i accompany him to the small lake at my village, cause his friends is coming~It is almost 5pm~ I never thought they will take so much time at there. I wait there for two hours, wearing my short pants and singlet. Somemore its BLACK ! can u imagine how FULL the mosquite around there ? Then i company him again~sit at our "cute cute red vigo" ondaway back to our home sweet home =)Then my HANDSOME MENTUA (future father in law) ask we to go dinner with them at 33restaurant~ At there he still discussing about his fishing things, it turn worst when he suddenly ask her dad to go fishing with him tomorrow, i mean the next day. He called all of his friends again.

SUNDAY's coming. Again ! He tried to call me awake~He was so rush to go fishing~its only 10.30am leh. Macam laa tu ikan pandai lari if he's LATE. Keep talking phone with his fishing buddies, me ? Just sitting at beside him and hear his conversation. Look so stupid == Haiss, keep waste the time again and again ! Guess what ? Even he know that im so angry, he keep on his plan ! WHAT ! and he didn't send me a message or give me a call. WALAO EH~is there any rules say that YOU CAN'T CALL OR SEND A MESSAGE TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND WHEN YOU ARE FISHING ? tiada bha kan~siapa tak marah kalau sampai macam tu. Almost 7.30pm he just send me message and many excuses like usual laa~keep apologize ! We discuss many things last night, But can't wrote it at here~hehehe, Its our secret =)

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now im so confused, SHOULD I FORGIVE HIM ?



Just now im having a bad dream ='( 3dreams in a day. What a unlucky day for me. All the dreams are scary. The first one i don't remember already. But the second one is about GHOST. Third one is about ACCIDENT. I don't know what is the point but i hope it just a dream~I prefer not to think too much !


P/S : Baby, if you really want save our relationship and wish i forgive you~pls be matured abit and don't keep broke your promises. I already help you manage the time for our own activities, you know about it and you also agreed with it ! So pls follow the rules. Enough =(

❤ Inspiration

SHE'S my biggest inspiration ! I love her so much :) MEGAN FOX totally complete my life with her sexy body and beautiful face. I wish that i could be as sexy as her, as pretty as her :) Gosh, just described her in one words. PERFECT !

Love her body :)

Her eyes totally gorgeous :)

❤ 悲伤

人 长大后自然会有很多烦恼 我不懂！
思想非常复扎 不能把事情想的简简单单
单纯 只会被人利用 被人陷害
难道世界真的已经失去了“人性”这两个字吗 ？
想了很久 但我还是不了解


或者我自己也把这些想得太复扎了
可是 有人能否认吗 ？
其实自己也累了 本人也太多烦恼了
也许 宝贝说得对 是想太多


不过我确定 某一些事情真的没那么简单
虽然已经过了很久 但心里且还瞒着很多的疑问
且还藏许多害怕的感觉 我不想！
我真的已经尽力　现在我发现我还是个失败者


IM BACK ! I just wrote two journal for april~Today im gonna add it with new stories new feelings :) All just about my daily life ! Some going good but some going bad. My life is upside down~I don't even know what to write and what to share~My brain is full with the problem~I've tried my best~and i've promised to baby im gonna forget but it just following me around~It will show up everytime i reached the maximum of my happiness~It will always come back for me when im alone~I really need my love beside me to help me forget all fo this~

脸　看起来开心　其实都是假　而伤口　只能藏在心里　悲伤　只能自己疗治

Baby~there's alot things i hide inside my heart~you just don't see it through your eyes~i ever want to share it with you~but i don't have the braveness to tell you~i don't have idea how to start it infront of you~Im so suffer :(

生活突然变得很寂寞　身边的朋友越来越少了　快乐的环境也很难拥有了　没有灿烂的笑容了

Life changed~everythings changed, all turn dark. No more happiness, no more fun~Its hard to see a smile everydays~Friends ? Just a word~I can't even recognize did i have a true friends im my daily~Its make me so stress !

最后　宝贝我真的已经尽量　我已经很努力　我和你的感情是太完美了
我没办法要忘记你　我也不能失去你　我只想让你开心　
我试了　但也使我累了　现在我只想你留在我身边　好好的爱着我

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Last week i spend my whole time with baby :) I've learnt alot about real life this few weeks~I still didn't talk to my mom since the arguement until now, I know it seems like im rebelious but honestly im the innocent one ! I just hate people blame me when i didn't do anythings. It hurts me alot when my mom ask me to move out and say alot bad word about me :(

I was staying at kk for 3days 2nights with baby~This was the first time i ran so far from my family, its hard to live alone out there without family support. Im having a simple life with my love and i tried to really feel that moment !

Well, i've learnt to saving~this is my first time i didn't use all of my money~can u imagine that the whole trip for 3days 2night just spend for rm500++ i was suprised that this time i didn't use alot~I mean for two people~its kinda really saving~Usually i can use more than rm600++ just for a day, somemore its for myself~alot of money ^^

Not going many places for the so called "KK LIFE" just going to some shopping mall and cyber cafe~Guess what, i learn to play new game ! Its LEFT 4 DEAD, im kinda good ! haha~just described in one word~ I REALLY ENJOYED THE MOMENT WITH HIM ! THANKS ALOT FOR MY LOVE CHESTER LIM KIAN HUNG :) I really appreciate the whole things you do for me since the begining of 2010~I know you've changed alot for me, yourself, your family and my family ! I appreciate it alot ! Im glad about it :)

Somemore, i know i seems so mean lately but i really don't have any idea how to tell you~I really can't described it for you~I swear i never cheating on you ! I was hiding something~But its not about having other guys ! Its just me ! I want to be perfect for you, I want to be the best for you ! Thats all.

❤ Im dizzy !!

Its been a long time i didn't update my blog~Sorry to my followers :(

Im so happy lately, baby have so much time to acompany me~its almost two weeks he didn't go to camp~He can manage his time to company me now~im so happy ! Last saturday we just took our so called " wedding picture " just take it for fun~I think all funs for this week but suddenly my fears coming again !! I hate it when this feelings come back to me !

Everytime when i was really happy~it will remind me again~Here comes the bad feelings again~about being lie,being cheated ! i hope all had gone~i wish i can forget it ! REALLY

Its hard for me to throw away all of my sadness~I didn't talk to my mom anymore, i don't have my friends anymore. Now my life more lonely than before~at home i had nobody to share my feels~just facebook-ing ! all my happiness, sadness, tears, laugh, fears~been keep at this beautiful blog~hm, i don't know what gonna happen soon ! I just hope i can forget all my sad memories as fast as i can ! I need help !

❤ My Weekend ~

Just arrive home and sitting writing my blog now ~ feel so tired today. After arrive home, me and baby direct go to church. Then almost 9pm going to aunt house celebrate my cousins birthday :) almost 11.30, going to seven eleven buy a bottle of cola, 100plus ~ then back to my home.

Tomorrow baby is going back to his dad hometown at Tawau, can't meet for 3days ~ gonna miss him so much. SS-ing with him before we going to sleep, zzzz Z Z Z