I Blame Myself =(

Hello bloggy, I'm here again..

as usual I have alot things to share and I know you are the one I can talk to
no one judge me at here, so I'll be free to say anythings =)
first of all, same stories, I'm alone again..
but it doesn't mean I'm giving up or get bored with this
sometimes I'm just tired and think negative
I don't know why I still care for the past
I've been trying everyday, not to think too much
but everytime he's far from me, all the bad memories came again.
and I started to blame everythings on him!
seriously, he treat me very nice.. more than girlfriend or even wifey
he gives me everything, never less. and it comes sincerely from his heart.
like he always said, he gives me everythings to make me happy
while for him, my simple smile can make him happy everydays.
what am I doing huh? I find thousand of ways to make him angry
and even trying to leave him. I do everythings in purpose..
just because I want to make him feel guilty, so that he will stay and have more times with me.
see.. I am a selfish girl. I hate my immature attitude.
honestly, many girls find these type of guys.
I didn't mean to say he is the perfect guy
but seriously there's alot of young man who are unemployed out there
he's doing the right things now, I need to open my EYES.
its time to wake up Alice, can't you see? He do that for you.
I've been so lucky to have him but all this time i closed both of my eyes.
blame no ones but myself.
maybe this is the reason why I dont have alot of friends.
I only care myself, and forget about others.
I realized but still hard to change..
I wish I could be the perfect girl =( I do..
hopefully I'll be the new one, be open-minded, look forward for future..

 

I'm so so so sorry. I MISS YOU ='(
still waiting..